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Saturday, May 22, 2010

Suzzane's Diary for Nicholas

just finished reading "Suzzane's Diary for Nicholas"..

That book has been left unattended for months. But i got a feeling just around 10pm last night, i need to read it. I saw it on the computer table in our living room, i asked my sister if that was new. She said in reply "No. I told you to read that before but you never did." I grabbed the book, i turned off my computer and jumped on my bed, and i started reading. I didn't turn the tv off, coz if i might find the book boring, i can still watch tv. But then, it was a good book and didn't notice that i'm already done reading by 12am today.

I didn't realized that tiny droplets of water started to drip from the corner of my eyes while reading that book. As I continue reading, I gave myself some pauses, few seconds to ponder upon the story and the lessons behind it. The diary may look a little simple but it is indeed full of joy and pain, full of thoughts about life, and about love lost and found.

I pay attention to every lesson that Suzanne wrote for Nicholas. And this one struck me the most:

"Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends and integrity. And you're keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls - family, health, friends and integrity - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered. And once you truly understand the lesson of the five balls, you will have the begginings of balance in your life."

Recently, I prayed to God and told Him that I'm willing to sacrifice something just to give me the job that I want. I'm starting to like my job right now, but I don't think it's not enough. Coz I know I deserve more. But then, the book changed my mind. No, work isn't that important, and if there is a need to sacrifice anything, it's the ball called "work" and nothing else.

"Bad stuff does happen sometimes, Nicholas. Always remember that, but remember that you have to move on somehow. You just pick your head up and stare at something beautiful like the sky or the ocean, and you move the hell on." - I do agree with this! Just like how good things can happen, bad things may happen too. I think it's okay to cry for a while. It's normal. But we have to move on and that's all, we don't have to forget.

We don't have to forget. Most important is not to forget all the good memories that life has given us. Coz.. Good memories are like charms and each memory is special. We have to collect them one by one, until one day we look back and discover that they make a long, colorful bracelet. Yes, it's true. Few days ago, I've been spending quality time with my mom and I've been telling her stories about what have happened during the past when i was still a little kid until those memories I made recently. My mom was amazed that I can still remember every detail, even though some had happened more than 15 years ago. Whether happy memories or sad, I told my mom everything I remembered, everything I felt. It was good. I realized today how wonderful the bracelet I've made!

"Life doesn't go on forever. Enjoy every moment of it."

That book changed both my mind and heart. And I think, it made me a better person now. ♥