CTRL - Z

Me 7 years go trying to undo things...

But now, i realized that those things i tried to undo taught me great lessons in life..
So I'd rather say "no regrets".

No regrets at all...

Instead of asking "Why is this happening to me?" It is better to ask "What is this trying to teach me?"

Everything that happens to us, whether good or bad, can be a great life lesson. No more pressing the ctrl-z, just go on, move forward and learn-all-you-can. :)

I like you but i don't

I like you but i don't like you. I just don't understand.

I just love the conversations that we had. Those soundtrips and small talks and the stories you've shared. I like it when you let me know the things you do.

Those simple good morning and good night messages you've sent. Asking me how's my day, and even how i have spent my weekend, it makes me feel happy that somehow, someone is interested in what i do daily.

The time you had spent with me even if it means going to work without sleep at night.

I feel comfortable sharing my story to you. My problems, my untold emotions and even my deepest secrets. Oh, how I wish i could have someone like you to spend the rest of my life with.

Well, I am looking forward to know you more. I want to know the purpose why we two have met.

I would like to thank you, because without your encouragement, i could never be braver.

• See you in the future, in God's perfect time.

Dear God, Please Don’t Let Me Get Attached To What’s Not Mine

By Rania Naim

Dear God,

Please don’t let me get attached to what’s not meant for me anymore. Don’t let me get attached to something or someone that you plan on taking away from me.

I know your plan is unknown but until you reveal it to me, please make it easier. Don’t let me hold on to what I need to let go of. Don’t let me fight for what I need to release. Do not let me desire what will eventually destroy me. Do not let me love those who will break my heart.

Because I get attached easily and I hold on to things tightly, so please don’t let my mind want things that I can’t handle, don’t let my mind trick me into wanting things I don’t need or things that are not good for me. Please don’t let my heart miss people who don’t miss me. Don’t let my heart long for the ones who left. Don’t let my heart fall in love with someone who doesn’t want to stay.

Please don’t let me get attached to the things that keep me up at night, to people who leave me wondering and to places I’m not meant to live in. Bring me closer to what’s meant for me, let me hold on to those who are meant to stay.

But let me forget about the things that were never meant to be, give me the faith I need to believe that I’m better off without them. Give me the wisdom I need to realize that I deserve so much better and that I’ll be happier somewhere else with somebody else.

Or just give me tolerance I need right now to be okay with not getting the things I want, with not loving the ones I wanted to love and give me the patience I need to wait for your blessings and wait for your gifts.

But for now, please don’t let me get attached to what’s wrong for me. Don’t let me invest so much in things or people I’m bound to lose. Don’t let me want what’s not mine. Don’t let me build a future around what’s temporary.

Missing piece

Confused feelings. Both happy and sad but definitely free.

Sad coz someone whom i am with for 8 years is now seem like a stranger again.

Those bittersweet memories. I was deeply inloved with you back then. You knew that. You felt that. You witnessed how i fought my love for you. But it just seem like i was never the one meant for you.

We never matched. We were not the missing piece in our life puzzle that we first thought we were. 

We tried our best for us to fit that missing piece, but no matter how hard we try, we just failed.

Now, there's no more us. No more trying hard to fit it.

Let's just start over again the journey of finding that missing piece. 

R E S P O N S I B I L I T I E S

Responsibilites at work. Responsibilities at home. Responsibilities at church.

I just don't understand anymore. Or maybe, I am just overwhelmed with all these responsibilities that I have right now.

Well, as we grow older, our responsibilities grow as well. And now that I reached 30, i just felt overloaded. I just want to cry, take a rest, escape.  I want an indefinite leave for all these responsibilities, but just can't. But I don't mean quitting eh? Just leave of absence, just for a time, until all of these would sink in to me.

Maybe, God wants me to go out of my comfort zone and move on to another step of the ladder. 

Actually, though I am overwhelmed, I also feel blessed because not everyone is privileged to have these responsibilities that I have right now.

Boss-in-the-Making, Leader-in-the-Making, UnstoppableWoman-in-the-Making.

Not everyone have these life trainings that I have. I thank You Lord for all of these.

Ah, maybe, God is just shaking my nest, because He's preparing me to fly and soar high. I praise and glorify You Lord for everything. ♡

Just a Dream

I woke up from a dream..Its 3:45am..it was a happy dream yet i cried.. i cried because of too many what ifs..too many whys..too many questions running on my mind..yet the feeling was like real..a happy feeling..why was that just a dream?

But WHY HIM?

Why was that happening on my dream?

What does it mean?

What if he's the one God made for me?

What if my current relationship is not meant to be?

I actually dreamt of my highschool classmate giving me a ring with a diamond on it. He said sorry because we are both in a relationship, and i said sorry too..

during that time on my dream i told myself "so this is the feeling when someone loves you secretly " i can't contain what i felt..i was happy yet i also felt sorry for my self, sorry for him, sorry for my boyfriend.
I just cant understand my feeling actually.

Then i asked him "dba ur in a relationship with __________? Yes i even mentioned the name of his girlfriend (pag gising ko i searched on fb its weird coz its really the name of his girlfriend. How come i knew?)

But then he told me that they already broke up with that girl (his real gf) and he is in a relationship with a different girl (the name was not mentioned b1ut all i know is hilomon dw like me)

We talked for about an hour, we hugged, we were talking so close to each other. then i said thank you for the ring..then he was about to give me papers to keep..it was supposed to be a resibo of a property or a land title?

Then i woke up. I relaized that it was just a dream. But the details in my dream, even my feelings were still the same.

regrets..........

how i wish i could turn back time......how i wish i could undo some little things i did......=c

when happiness and pain collide....
That hurts the most....

Another Chance For Our Love :)

He asked me, "can i have your number again?"
I was thinking, should i give him my number again?
I promised to myself that 2013 will be a different year and i will forget everything happened last year, so i decided to give him my number and restart the friendship....

A few weeks later, i received a text from him, though his number wasn't saved on my phone, i knew it was him, but i pretended that i forgot his number and replied "who's this? your number wasn't on my contact list." He didn't reply. But the next day after work, 4pm when he was about to off from work, he told "ako yun" and I said pretending again "ang unsa?" "ang nagtext ba kagabi" he said, and i replied "ah okay," pretending that i never really cared.

He's cute. I know he likes me a lot. I know I can make him smile even on the simplest things i do. He makes me smile also. Just seeing him happy makes me smile.

Feb. 3, before I slept, I asked God "Lord, is it okay if i am going to be friends with him?" He replied first thing in the morning, February 4, "Whatever you have in mind, do it, for God is with you." that made me smile of course

Daily Devotional :)

 "For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments and His commandments are not burdensome." - 1 John 5:3

      That's my rhema for today. :) well, i have been quite serious doing my devotional everyday for quite a time. and I try not to skip a single day without reading the Bible. I don't know but it makes me feel incomplete when i don't read the Bible daily. 

      Reading the Bible is usually one of the things i do every early in the morning. It makes my day complete -- oh, not just complete, it makes my day perfect! :) that even at night, when i'm about to sleep, i still have this big smile on my face, thankful for the awesomely perfect day, guided by God's Word. 

IT'S NOT ABOUT RELIGION

     When Pacman lost the fight today, I've read and heard a lot of people blaming Pacman's change of religious affiliation. From facebook statuses, to the people in the streets to the news on tv, and on the a.m. radio stations. - yes maybe a lot of people is just really upset with this Pacman's defeat. 

     Pacman lost the game. not because he changed his religion, but because winning the game isn't intended for him. Simple as that. He lost. That's it. Losing and failing is just a part of life.

Religious affiliation is definitely not the issue. and God's will and purpose is not to be questioned.